The Least Likely
by AnimeFan84
Summary: Synopsis: Ranma is cornered in a cavern facing off with the one person he never expected to duel...


The Least Likely

...

...

...

Ranma stood breathing harder than he expected. He couldn't believe she had gotten him this winded! It had a been a furious battle and he had moved as fast as he could to avoid her strikes and to avoid hurting her badly. He'd hit her a few times to try and weaken her but he wasn't using anywhere near his full strength. He wanted to avoid knocking her out, too. He didn't know that he could live with himself if it came to that. She, on the other hand, was fighting him full out and had scored more than a few hits on him. For someone who looked so fragile, she hit hard! He could feel his second wind coming but for the meantime he wanted to delay renewing their combat as long as possible.

His female opponent was clad in black. She had a short-sleeved, gold-embroidered black Chinese shirt on with dark pants like Ranma's. Her outfit was finished off by dark Chinese shoes and a violet sash around her waist. Her feet were clad in shoes similar to Ranma's that enabled her to utilize her superior agility. Her long chestnut-colored hair was held in a high pony-tail cinched by a violet ribbon.

The pony-tailed young woman looked at him with a mean smile on her face, her hazel eyes blazing in hatred. She would kill Ranma the moment he slipped up. He wouldn't be walking out of this cavern alive as her master demanded. She was a bit more winded than he was, truthfully, but had an idea on how to immobilize him and make his elimination far easier.

 _She still looked utterly cute despite all this..._

 _..._

 _..._

Another figure stood in the cavern, far apart from the combatants.

"What are you waiting for? _Kill him!_ " Lo Shun screeched. He was a man in his middle years with long white hair that was braided. He was wearing clothing similar to Mousse's robes. The aged Amazon warrior was growing impatient at the time his female thrall was taking to eliminate the pesky Saotome. They should have been done with this over twenty minutes ago!

She bowed to Lo Shun. "Yes, Master. It will be as you wish," she calmly replied. She turned and smirked at Ranma.

She stood twenty feet away from Ranma. She began walking towards him. That look on her face – was it amusement, maliciousness, or an evil smirk? Ranma couldn't tell... Even when she was 'normal,' her facial expressions were so subtle. There wasn't much difference between the serene smile she normally wore around most people and that slight frown she displayed when she got really upset.

Ten feet away from Ranma she stopped. A broad smile appeared on her face.

"So tell me, Ranma... _You never thought I would be the one to end your life?_ You always thought that if someone you knew were going to end your life that it might be Ryoga... Maybe Mousse, Cologne, Happosai, or even Kuno if he got lucky.

"If it had to be a Tendo that ended your life, it would most likely be Akane with that stupid mallet of hers... Nabiki would probably hire a yakuza assassin or ninjas to do you in... Perhaps Daddy-Dearest would drown you in one of his crying fits!" She smirked evilly at Ranma.

She closed the gap until she was three feet from him. She tilted her head and looked at him amused. "For a while, it even looked like your own mother was serious about having you fulfil that seppuku oath..." An unsettling grin bloomed on her face.

Ranma shivered from memories of dreams filled with katana blades and tantos.

She looked at him quizzically with half-closed eyes. "You have no idea why I'm so upset at you, do you? You have no idea why I want to kill you?"

Ranma blinked and shook his head. From what he saw of her clouded hazel eyes, he could tell she was under some form of mind-control If he could just get through to her and break it -! Her anger, though, seemed real enough!

She put her hands on her hips and tilted her head. She blinked. She shook her head with exasperation. "Oh my, you really don't remember, do you, Rammie?"

 _..._

 _..._

'Rammie? Since when has anybody called me that?' Ranma thought. He chuckled nervously.

"Refresh my memory? Between the Neko-ken and all those other training accidents, I really don't remember much of anything before I was 12."

Kasumi closed her eyes and growled in frustration. "It figures, that damned Panda..." she cursed softly.

Her eyes snapped open and she smiled broadly again. "You and your father first visited my home ten years ago. Uncle Genma decided to take a break from your training journey and talk with my father. While they were visiting bars, he left you with us. Mother was still alive and she said it wouldn't be a bother to look after you while they 'socialized.'"

Kasumi paused. "I grew interested in you after you boasted that your father was going to make you the best martial artist who ever lived! I really wasn't impressed by that boast, to be honest. I thought I was the better martial artist. After all, I had won city-wide tournaments in my age group already and none of the neighborhood kids, let alone my sisters, were really a challenge to me anymore. I decided to test your boast by inviting you to spar with me in my family's dojo.

"What transpired next was a preview of what happened with Akane nearly a decade later. Try as I might, you were too fast for me and I couldn't do much more than tag you a few times. You bounced off the walls, ceiling, and floor of the dojo like a hyperactive little monkey. You finished the fight by flipping over me. I spun around to face you and you touched the tip of my nose. I fell flat on my butt. I looked up at you and you were laughing hard at me, rolling around on the floor, and pointing at me. I think if you hadn't laughed so hard like that, I would have let it go and been a graceful loser... _but you made me_ _furious_. I was literally seeing red and nobody had done that to me before in a serious spar. As much as I wanted a rematch and to _knock you down on_ _your ass_ , I was too tired for another spar that day. Your father stopped by later to pick you up and you were off on your training trip again."

Kasumi leaned in towards Ranma with her unsettling smile. "Do you want to know what happened next?"

Ranma shook his head. He had a sheepish, nervous frown. "Not really... but I think you're going to tell me anyway!"

Kasumi nodded. She straightened her back. She had a wan smile on her face. "I trained intensely for the next three years concentrating on speed, precision, and economy of motion. During that time, Nabiki gave up on her training. I guess she didn't like me kicking her around the Dojo and knocking her out. As for Akane, she never got that far in her training and she was pretty much the way she is today. She never was a serious challenge to me...

"I didn't know if you were ever going to visit us again but I wanted to be ready. You appeared again with your father when my mother started showing early signs of her illness. We were all a bit manic in the household and doing what we could to ignore what was happening with Mother. Father was beginning to get high-strung and start his emotional collapse. Nabiki and Akane started retreating into their own worlds. I was the least affected in the family at the time."

Kasumi looked up and down at Ranma. "I was going to get my revenge and put you in your place that day... I must confess, I was a bit less impressed with you that day than I was the first time we met. I was somewhat taller than you when I was 13, and I was starting to develop, too. You were such a cute munchkin back then!" Kasumi smiled, reached out, and pinched Ranma's cheek.

"You still had that cocky grin on your face, though..." She paused for effect. "…and _**I really wanted to knock it off!**_ " Kasumi screamed at him harshly enough to make his pigtail straighten to the back.

"Heh heh heh..." Ranma nervously chuckled. 'I've never seen her look so pissed at me! _I'm in trouble..._ '

"Yes, laugh while you can." Kasumi smiled with sharp teeth showing.

 _..._

 _..._

"Oh, will you just go ahead and kill him already!" Lo Shun roared.

Kasumi never took her eyes off Ranma and sighed with exasperation. "In just a bit, Master. I'm exercising my right as a villain to tell him my life story and gloat _before I kill him!_ " Kasumi spoke matter-of-factly and smirked at Ranma.

" _Oh, very well..._ " Lo Shun groaned.

"Thank you for the indulgence, Master. Now, where were we?" Kasumi tapped her cheek deep in thought. She snapped her fingers and her unsettling smile reappeared. "Oh yes, _what I was going to do to you that day...!_ Our second match didn't quite go the way I had anticipated but it was pretty good all things considered." She nodded. "I was much faster than you expected – I could tell by the look of surprise on your face! – and I even got in a few good hits with my kicks and grazed your face with a few punches. I couldn't quite get in a good enough position for a finishing throw or blow but I _almost_ had you once or twice. _Then, you had to do something really under-handed!_ "

'Oh boy, here it comes...'

"You stuck your tongue in my ear! I screeched and automatically tried to wipe off your spit with my gi's sleeve. While I was distracted, you performed nipple twisters on me. _That really hurt, you know!_ " Kasumi glared at Ranma.

Ranma did more than sweat-drop. He broke into furious cold sweats. By some miracle, his curse didn't activate...

Kasumi growled. "And if that wasn't enough, you started tickling me! I begged you to stop but you kept on tickling me. _I peed in my gi, Ranma!_ "

Ranma let out a few unconscious snickers before covering his mouth with both hands. Too late(!). He looked in horror as he felt a red, rage-filled battle aura snap around a young woman he had never seen so infuriated. Her long hair stood up on end.

Kasumi clenched her teeth. "To make matters worse, _I was wearing my white gi_! Everybody could see the stain that ran down my leg..."

" _ **You humiliated me in front of my family, Ranma!**_ **"** she growled loudly in a near-demonic voice.

 _..._

 _..._

Kasumi's battle aura vanished after a brief intermission and her hair settled down.

"And you excused your actions by saying, 'It's Anything Goes, all moves are legal!' While my mother scolded you after she saw what you did, my sisters _laughed at me_. They were both on the dojo floor pounding it with their fists... They were so glad to see their big sister 'humbled' _by a hyper brat!_ " Kasumi's nostrils flared.

"You never apologized for what you did to me before you left!" she yelled at Ranma.

Ranma got into his Crouching Tiger position and started pleading for forgiveness. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!..."

Kasumi looked perplexed at the pig-tailed boy and was more than a little amused at his begging. She pulled him up by his pig-tail and stared into his face. She resumed her glare.

Ranma gulped. "Look, I don't remember doing any of that but you're perfectly within your right to be angry with me over it! I-I-I-I've been told _I was a little bastard_ back then and Pop always told me never to do certain things if I ever had to fight a girl... I-I never had any idea that it could have been because of this!"

Kasumi released his pig-tail and arched an eyebrow. "And because of that, you subconsciously let Akane get away with hitting you so much _over nothing..._

" _I could almost accept her malleting and punching of you as just punishment... but the punishment was for me to inflict, not her!"_ Kasumi smiled maliciously.

"I stopped practicing the Art intensively shortly after you left that second time as Mother's illness became progressively worse. That's when I gave up any dream of carrying on my father's legacy... That's when I took over Mother's role and became her permanent replacement," Kasumi trailed off softly.

Ranma noticed Kasumi still had that glazed look in her eyes. The anger was very real; she was still under the control of the Amazon. How could he reach the gentle girl he knew? Did he really detect sadness in her last statement?

 _..._

 _..._

Ranma bowed his head.

"I'm so sorry, Kasumi, about all of that... I didn't remember. You've been so nice to me all this time since I came into your home eighteen months ago and I wasn't aware of how I wronged you. Can you ever forgive me?"

Kasumi's look softened. Her evil smile disappeared while her eyes remained glazed but still angry. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

Ranma appraised the young woman in front of him. "You're always surprising me, Kasumi... I never knew you had any dreams to become your father's heir. I can see that with a bit more training you could still be great. You gave me the best work-out I've had in a long time," Ranma chuckled.

Kasumi's gaze narrowed. " **It was just a work-out for you?** " she shouted at him.

Ranma warded her off with his hands. "All right! So you could have kicked my butt if you had a bit more training! Yeesh!"

A grin returned to Kasumi's face while her eyes remained narrowed. "Oh my! So, I did almost kick yer butt today, huh, Rammie?" The glaze in her eyes disappeared.

Ranma arched an eyebrow. "Technically, yeah..." He noticed then that the glaze was gone from her eyes.

Kasumi tilted her head with a questioning expression. Her arms were crossed behind her back. Her eyes were fully open and she blink-blinked. "So you admit I fought you to a stand-still? It's a draw, then?"

Ranma wanted to groan but held it back. He looked down shame-faced and shrugged. He _hated_ to end any serious fight or spar in a draw. At least a loss was a definite conclusion! He drew a lazy eight in the ground with his foot. "Sure... whatever makes you happy," he mumbled.

 _..._

 _..._

"Forgive me for what I'm about to do, Ranma..." Kasumi said softly with a mournful look. Ranma didn't hear her and assumed she was just sad for fighting with him.

She stepped towards him as if she were going to hug and forgive him. She tapped several pressure points on his back. Paralyzed, Ranma collapsed onto his back.

Kasumi hunched down and grinned mischievously at Ranma. "'Anything Goes,' Rammie..."

"I finally kicked yer butt, I finally kicked yer butt," she repeated rapidly. "Oh my! It took me seven long years but I finally kicked yer butt!"

"That's nice for you, Kasumi... _but could you undo this paralysis now?_ Pretty please? I can barely speak..."

Kasumi looked at him blankly. "Say it."

Ranma closed his eyes and moaned. He opened his eyes and sighed loudly. "All right, you kicked my butt," he said in a soft whisper.

Kasumi continued to stare at him blankly. She repeated her request dryly and louder. " **Say it.** "

Ranma shouted in exasperation, "ALL RIGHT! YOU KICKED MY ASS AFTER SEVEN LONG YEARS! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

Kasumi pumped her fist. " _Yesssss!_ " She winked at Ranma. "That'll do!" she said with a sincere smile. She elevated his back and poked several other pressure points. Ranma felt sensation return to his body.

 _..._

 _..._

"Whew! You've gotta show me how you did those pressure points some day! That was a very sneaky move, Kasumi!" Ranma said with admiration. He looked at the still-crouching girl. Still seated on the floor with his back up, he cautiously asked, "Are you still gonna kill me?"

Before Kasumi could answer, Lo Shun yelled, "Are you going to talk him to death? _Are you ever going to get around to killing him with your bare hands?_ "

Kasumi looked down and sighed. She cocked her head and looked wearily at Ranma. "I'm tired... Could _you_ deal with him?"

Ranma nodded and smirked. He leapt up onto his feet and launched his Moko Takabisha attack at the renegade Amazon. Lo Shun impacted the cavern wall twenty feet behind him and slumped unconscious.

 _..._

 _..._

After Ranma tied up the renegade Amazon and dropped him off at the Chinese embassy, he and Kasumi walked back to their home. Kasumi was still dressed in her black Chinese outfit.

"That's a nice look for you," Ranma said as he looked her over.

She kept silent but blushed at his compliment.

Ranma's face grew somber. "I've never seen you get so angry at me like that before, Kasumi. When did this happen?"

Kasumi looked at the ground. "Until a few days ago, Ranma, I didn't remember what happened between us in those spars. I filed those events away in the back of my mind. There were so many more important things that were going on back then. Mother was getting sicker and I had to take over her duties so there was no time to stay angry over those spars. I couldn't dwell on them... Nabiki and I were looking through old photo albums when we were trying to reorganize the bookshelves in Father's office... It was sheer luck that we saw a single picture of you as a ten-year-old boy in one of those albums. You were seated at our dinner table eating noodles with my sisters and myself.

"Nabiki reminded me of what happened during those two early visits. I didn't plan to confront you about this figuring these things happened so long ago. You aren't the same person today that you were back then."

She turned and looked at him with shame. "However, that didn't mean I wasn't still upset at what happened. I bumped into Lo Shun in the city and he hypnotized me. He used my old rage to turn me against you." Kasumi looked down again. "I'm sorry..."

Ranma waved off her concern. "Hey, it's okay. Nothing bad happened in the end, and we cleared a few things between us. You finally got that apology you deserved!"

Kasumi smiled. "I suppose I satisfied my passion for revenge, too..."

Ranma smiled gently back at her. "Like I've said before, you still amaze me all the time. I really don't deserve to be your fiancé."

Kasumi put her hand on his shoulder and stopped him. "I don't deserve to be yours, either... As far as I'm concerned, what I did to you eighteen months ago when we met for the third time was far crueler than anything you did to me when you were ten. You were a child back then and didn't know better... I wasn't a child when _I hurt you_ that third time and _I should have known better_. I consider myself blessed that you gave me a second chance to be your fiancée. You're an incredible person."

Ranma blushed when she praised him. After a lifetime of neglect, he choked up when he received compliments or heard someone express affection for him. He felt a soothing warmth when Kasumi hugged him.

It still felt awkward for him to hug her back but it was becoming easier. He felt safe with her. He knew that he had her trust and that she loved him...

 _..._

 _..._

A few minutes later...

The pair had resumed walking back to the Tendo home.

"Wh-why did you call me Rammie back there?"

Kasumi sighed. "Blame your father and those training accidents! When you came to us for the first time, you couldn't even remember your name correctly! You thought your name was 'Rom-something' so we just called you, 'Rammie.' Your father was never around to correct us!

"It's amazing that Panda didn't kill you after all!"

"You're not kidding!" he chuckled. "One of the few good things that came out of that training trip was meeting you..."

Kasumi became quiet and stopped walking.

Ranma noticed she'd fallen back from him and stopped as well.

Concerned that he said something wrong again, Ranma looked over and noticed an embarrassed look on Kasumi's face. Just as he was going to apologize, the shy girl kissed Ranma on the cheek and giggled as she pulled a dazed Ranma home by the arm.

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

 _..._

EPILOGUE

 _..._

A few hours later at the Tendo Dojo, shortly after dinner...

The Tendo and Saotome families were seated at the dinner table.

...

Kasumi and Ranma told their story...

It took a moment for the end result of the 'fight' to sink in...

...

"SHE WHAT?!" Genma and Akane yelled at the same time.

"Nobody else was around to at least take a picture of my big sister beating Mr. Macho?!" Akane screeched. "We missed a chance to preserve that historic moment for posterity!"

Nabiki looked astonished. "Wow, Lil Sis... I thought you'd be mega-disappointed if you weren't the gal to beat the Wild Horse in a real fight!"

Akane grabbed the front of Nabiki's shirt and looked at her with desperation. "I don't care who beats him! I just want to see at least one girl beat him in my lifetime! It's not good enough unless I see it in person or have the proof some girl beat him! Don't you care about all the money you lost without the photo proof of Big Sis's win!?"

Nabiki made a whale noise as her eyes widened to saucer size before they shrank back to normal. Her face grew sad and her lips quivered. "Oh, the humanity! All that lost moolah!" Nabiki whined before she hugged Akane and started sobbing loudly. Akane hugged her back and sobbed as well.

 _..._

 _..._

Off to the side, Genma was streaming tears a la Soun. His arms were by his sides. "Oh, for shame! All that training for naught... To see my son beaten by a mere housewife!"

Kasumi frowned at his comment. "Oh my! Someone's getting smaller dinner portions _for the next month!_ " she muttered darkly.

Ranma, who was seated next to Kasumi, looked simultaneously amused and stunned by her remark. This was the first time he could remember her punishing Genma for ANY sexist comment.

Genma must have heard her because he began moaning loudly as his crying intensified.

Ranma sighed and shook his head at his father's histrionics.

"There, there, old friend... It's not so bad. It happens to the best of us!" Soun said softly as he patted his training partner's back. Soun wailed grandly, "Oh, to live to see your heir, our next grandmaster, defeated by my lovely, eldest daughter!"

Genma's moaning grew even louder.

'There... That really stuck the knife deeper into Saotome's back! It's not often that I get to have this much fun at **his** expense!' Soun thought with satisfaction. He smiled smugly behind Genma's back.

Soun looked sympathetically at Ranma and shrugged his shoulders. 'What are you gonna do? It happens, Son!' was the message he seemed to send Ranma.

Soun faced his eldest daughter. With his free hand, he gave a thumbs up to Kasumi and grinned as he nodded at her. This was a **fantastic** early Christmas present she'd given him!

Kasumi's frown became a broad smile. It was nice to see Daddy acknowledge her accomplishment!

...

...

Nodoka tsked and shook her head. "Oh, well... This was bound to happen to my manly son, sooner or later." She sighed.

Nodoka's face brightened and she smiled widely. "At least he got his butt kicked by my future daughter-in-law!"

"MOM!"

"Now, now, Ranma! A manly man honors his obligations. According to Amazon law, Kasumi won you fair and square. You HAVE to marry her soon, Son!" Nodoka teased Ranma with a straight face.

Kasumi was amused by Nodoka's antics. She wondered if she really COULD use the Amazon law excuse to push Ranma for an earlier marriage. Probably not... He was just getting used to their hugs and much more than a kiss now would probably push him into a coma! Oh well, she could afford to be a little more patient... From what she saw a few months ago when she 'accidentally' bumped into a naked MALE Ranma in the bathroom, the wait was worth it!

… _On second thought,_ maybe she **should** pursue the Amazon law angle for an earlier marriage.

 _..._

 _..._

"Honestly, Mom! It wasn't that big a deal! She didn't really kick my ass!"

Clueless Little Ranma still didn't understand that his mother was just teasing him and that he was also walking on thin ice around his beloved fiancée. Ranma felt a cold chill from where Kasumi sat. He 'eeped' and grimaced when he saw Kasumi's look of utter contempt beneath her glowing, blue aura.

Nodoka snickered. Kasumi had a marvelous intimidation technique. She would definitely keep her son in line after they got married!

Ranma gulped. "I-I-I misspoke, Mom. I-I-I did indeed acknowledge to Kasumi, LOUDLY, that she kicked my ass!"

Kasumi's blue battle aura still blazed as she held her cold look on him.

Ranma became desperate. Maybe if he repeated what he said to Kasumi in the cave she'd settle down?

"SHE KICKED MY ASS GOOD AFTER SEVEN LONG YEARS!"

Kasumi's aura flickered out and she smiled at Ranma.

Nodoka started laughing like a hyena.

Ranma groaned. "It wasn't that funny...!"

 _..._

 _..._

Kasumi and Ranma got up from the dinner table to leave the sobbing and laughing parties.

Kasumi sighed. "It will probably be at least another half-hour before they all settle down... Father and Auntie are enjoying the situation far too much. Uncle Genma and Nabiki might be crying for another hour... Akane should probably be done crying within the next fifteen minutes.

" _In the meantime..._ "

Kasumi smiled mischievously at Ranma. "... Do you wanna help me clean the dishes, Rammie, or do I have to drag you to the Dojo and kick yer butt again?"

"Kasumi!"

Kasumi laughed as Ranma chased her into the kitchen...


End file.
